Perth woman declares - "SE Asia is a great place to lose weight!"
A
Perth woman this week has advised all current contacts and associates
that SE Asia is "a great place to lose weight" after being filthy ill
for 3 weeks and spending up to 90 minutes a day being sick, brushing her
teeth, drinking isotonic beverages and sourcing high quality motion
sickness tablets.
C Kelly, formerly of Sydney and now residing in
image conscious Perth has advised all current contacts and
associates with an interest in maintaining a svelte figure that SE Asia
is "a great place to lose weight" after approximately 3 weeks on the
roads of Thailand, Laos and Vietnam.
"I haven't really tired a
whole lot to lose weight before" said Ms Kelly in an exclusive interview
with Bloodsoakedrainbows media, "although you can never be too thin or
too rich! I mean, I've spent a fair bit of time exercising and eating
salads and stuff, but if you really wanted to drop some weight quickly,
this would be the place to do it. Last night for example, I was able to
stomach two spring rolls and two fruit shakes from a beautiful
restaurant on the shores of the river that runs through Hoi An, Vietnam,
decked with colourful lanterns up and down the water, all of which I
thoroughly enjoyed and immediately threw up, with no effort or desire on
my part whatsoever." Its should be noted that Ms Kelly's mother is also
very proud of having some sort of involuntary bulimia.
Ms Kelly
suggests sampling many small items of food at frequent intervals to
maintain the weight loss regime she is currently experiencing and
recommends brushing your teeth with tap water at all times. "You
wouldn't drink it of course. Unless you had, like, a fashion shoot or
wedding next week or something" she says. "Weight loss hold not be too
dramatic or people will think you have Leukemia. My cousin Amy had
Leukemia and it was totally not hot. I think she turned yellow."
As
evidence for her speedy weight loss, Ms Kelly cites the many sales
people who tell her how beautiful she is every day. "As I walk down the
street, everyone keeps yelling 'hey pretty lady, you so beautiful, come
buy from my shop!''" she notes. "No one does that back in Perth. I must
look amazing!"
When asked if she would return to Bangladesh,
where her weight plummeted to 47 kgs Ms Kelly laughs. "Are you serious?
90 minutes a day is more than i can handle. Bangladesh would require,
like, 180 minutes. If I had that sort of time I'd probably run up and
down stairs or something."
