Perth woman advises "Corporate law sucks"
A layer with prominent Australian law firm has recently revealed that on the balance, taking into account the realities of corporate legal practice, "corporate law totally sucks"
Ms Kelly, formerly of Sydney and now based in mercantile Perth advised Bloodsoakedrainbows media recently that her expectations of the profession and work generally did not meet the realities of her life as a legal practitioner. "I mean, when you're at law school, no one directly says your life will be all awesome and glamorous and stuff, but that is the obvious expectation. Hellooooooo, we don't live in some village in Eithiopia, we have TVs and stuff!"
Ms Kelly did not suspect anything was amis until approximately her 11th day in the office. "I watched Ally McBeal and the Practice and Suits and stuff. They were okay shows. Then when I went in all dressed for the job and stuff some up tight narky chick from HR (that's "Human Resources" in case you have never had a really serious corporate job) chucked some massive narky hissy fit about the length of my skirt "she reports. "That's when I knew that somewhere along the way, someone had lied to me. I wasted hours in Missoni and Country Road having skirts taken up. Only to hear that now I'm like some nun or something and the pearls my dad gave me for my 21st are my rosary beads. Whatever!"
Ms Kelly remembers firmly how things degenerated from there. "At first it was sort of fine. I mean, I would come in with my latte and discuss the new space I had gone to with my downward dog or pigeon in power yoga the previous night and whether Stacy my secretary should stay with her boyfriend Derek or not. He was such a loser, it was so obvious. But then all these people would be like, "Hey Caitlin, can you please like do all this Work?" and then they would show up again going "Where is that Work?" No one cared that I had a medical certificate or that I had, you know, my own life to attend to."
Asked if she was entirely duped into the role Ms Kelly is thoughtful. "Yes and no. I mean, there was free food and wine and stuff. And i guess when i needed to go to rehab and sh*t everyone was down wit that. But the Work bit just didn't stop, it was totally incessant and relentless and those chicks at the careers fair with the free pens and cool hole punchers didn't say a word about that business, or screwing with my social life and stuff."
When asked what advice Ms Kelly would give aspiring lawyers of today she does not hesitate. "Make sure you ask, in the very first interview, if it will be like on TV. And if the answer is no, try and get a government job where you can d*ck around perusing office chair catalogues for a whole day or two. There will be less free food and stuff but sometimes life requires sacrifice."
