SIGNS
I AM AN ALCOHOLIC
·
I’ve had a whole bunch of 6
figure job offers I ignored because I was busy lying on the floor face down;
·
I haven’t showered for 24 hours
or brushed my hair for days;
·
Ive booked a trip to a rural
village in the Philippines and I am fucking terrified. I have packed a
toothbrush and a passport and assumed I can wear my helper's clothes;
·
I think that kind of thing is normal;
·
My child pushed me for a cuddle
and I was comatose;
·
I've been fired from several
jobs, not for being drunk but for my inability to get on with managers;
·
I am misusing commas;
·
My partner is a bee’s dick away
from leaving;
·
I look horrible;
·
I probably smell like the
psychiatric chick who used to roam Balmain;
·
If I live to be old I will die
alone
·
I make profoundly inappropriate
decisions based on ego;
·
When I passed out on the front
lawn of a condo next door and people stood around taking photos I though “that’s very rude of them.” Then a nice man brought a wheelchair.
I've been I'm 5 different rehabs and still don't get this.
· Everyone is sick of it.