it feels like a good time to do it, engage in the horror and euphoria.
Ive found a new place that I think will feel nice. Stretched white skin over bones and lost harmony. A vein here and there to make it colourful.
Everyone is back to sleep, i wipe the blade, disinfect. I wipe parts of my skin, I am salivating already, I can taste the release. We are in for a long night. I want to bleed and feel the burnt iron falling from me, I want to make a big mess and clean it up, or not. I want to see the gross violence I feel, acted out upon my flesh.
My aggression and anger are so raw, but I will need to still myself for this, find some peace to lend itself to the physical dexterity of what I am attempting. You cant operate on yourself whilst in a haze of madness.
I am baffled by how this person lives like this and more baffled by the fact that no one knows. I will patch up the bits a pieces of tissue tomorrow, call my sponsor, go to work, Maybe one day we will bleed a little too much.
