I
arrive, rip off the silk dress I have worn through dusty streets, the ashram,
the airports, the bus stations, on that night in the womens carriage where they
made me sit near the toilet and I drank chai and prayed. PRAYED to Allah, Brahmin, Jesus, anyone who could hear me. In the end it was a toothless old lady that answered. I don't know what she said but she made space for me on the chair and smiled and it was so beautiful my prayers turned to tears.
I
shower, spray on some perfume. Yeeeeeeeeeees I am a woman again. I head down to
the bar of divorced men looking to get away for Christmas and meet
their President, VP and Treasurer. They are excited that a woman has
arrived. Under the age of 40 no less. They are nice enough, we would wind up
befriending them. Paul Swiss would send you bizarre corporate Christmas gifts
for years. Paul Irish would… he would make us laugh.
I look
at my watch, you will be here soon! It’s been months, I cant wait, I love our
trips.
You
arrive, after midnight, distraught. “Chicken Little, something terrible has
happened. This is not my bag!”
Then
why do you have it?
Well,
it was black. A man lifted it off the carousel, put it on a trolley, another
man put it in the cab and another one carried it to the room. But I have just
tried to lift it. It weighs about 60 kilos!
So you
stole someone’s bag. Seriously mum!!
Not
deliberately.
Let’s
have a coffee and a cigarette and I’ll sort it out tomorrow.
You
cant do it now?
No mum.
It’s late.
Ok. But
you will sort it out?
Yes.
Um, I don’t
have any clothes. And the bag is locked.
Even if
it was unlocked, they would not be your clothes!
There
are no clothes in there. It’s some sort of machine.
Stop
this! You can borrow my… well, I don’t have any clothes either. You can live in
a bathrobe. Ha!
In the
morning I call the airline.
Oh, it’s
you!! That lady has been going insane, calling ever hour, wanting her
photographic equipment back. She says she will give you back your bag if you
give her back hers.
What do
you mean? Why does she have our bag?
It was
the last one on the carousel. So she took it.
Well
that’s kind of an *sshole thing to do, if she knew it wasn’t hers.
You
stole her bag though.
Not deliberately.
I am here on the phone, trying to sort this out, telling you it was an
accident.
Yes ok.
We do the bag swap here, in 40 minutes.
Done. I
am a little baffled by his logic. Something seems off about it. But I have not
seen logic for a while now, maybe mine is off.
Hey
Bear, they have your bag, you have her bag, I have to go to the airport.
Oh that’s
great. There is a big party tonight. It’s compulsory. I don’t want to get in
trouble and I don’t want to go in a bathrobe.
