Only happy stories. But I need this place, I need to have this secret space to tell the..
The symptoms Angel… They are not nice to see… You will be at work tomorrow… But you will wake up to me shivering in a dark and cold sweat. You will hear me cry and call out for any family I thought I had. The nightmares and the cold sweat and the anxiety. Maybe if you can get through that. I have never done an unassisted detox with no meds… I will try to get up for coffee with you and will throw up. I will bend over and fall on the floor, try and pretend I am ok. I will not be able to hold down food for 48 hours. I will be anxious, and in hospital they drug you up so you sleep through this bit.
But I have no drugs and I want to get clean, so Im going to try and do this on my own at home. Chamomile tea and Vivaldi. Angel I am so afraid. I do not think it is a good idea. I think it is kind of dangerous, I'm scared of the seizures, when you have one, in the moment, you are certain you will never come to, sane, again. But I think you will know it is not great by the cold of my skin and the way my eyes don't quite see yours. I am so afraid. But we have to get busy living. It's going to hurt, no drugs but it's just 48 hours, I am so afraid.
I have to get through this. I HAVE A REAL AVERSION TO PAIN, AND I KNOW THIS PAIN, SPECIFICALLY.
