“I’m scared”
“Well pull it together bitch!” You smile a heart broken thin
smile and lean into my shoulder. We are sitting and watching the sun set
over Cable beach. “Come on… “
“Everything is going to be okay, isn’t it?”
“Yep.” I laugh, even though nothing is funny and you laugh to. I
feel protective. You look small and gentle and lost.
“I’m ok, sitting here with you. But when you are gone I will be
afraid again. I don’t know when Life sort of got the better of me, the actual moment.”
I think for a while. “I can. The day my sister was murdered. My
whole family fell apart. No day has ever felt the same.”
You don’t look over at me but you take my hand and stare into space.
After a few minutes you sigh heavily.
“The world wants bigger things for us Kim. We’re both going to
just have to get through these… places.” Your eyes pierce reality and you seem old.
“Hey, everything is going to be fine”. You force a smile and I don’t think you believe what you’re saying. It’s the first time you have ever lied to
me. I wonder if we lived through the holocaust together.
