"Ladies, Im going to have to ask you to shut this conversation down! It is entirely inappropriate" Baby Nurse Ratchet looks horrified.
We looked at each other and started laughing.
"Whoops! Sorry. Didn't realise it was inappropriate. I guess it was."
We laugh some more.
We had been sitting in art therapy. A silent man in his late 60's who looked like his name was probably Dennis was drawing patterns in a stencil of a flower.
Shannon and I had been talking about life after and partners. She was my unofficial rehab mum I decided, attractive blonde in her mid 40s, funny, friendly, not shy but not over the top in any way. The kind of woman I really like and gravitate to on the outside. There were always a few people you clicked with in those places, not many, but a few and she was one of them.
"Mike is a lot older than me and is not sure how to take this but is really supportive. But still, it will be weird, a little, I think. I mean, especially in the bedroom. I haven't had sober sex with him in years."
"yeah it will be weird! It is one of those strange things! You don't know how it will affect you or him or what your inhibitions are. Like, when you are drinking a lot you have no inhibitions whatsoever and it is just all wild and a lot of it. But sober is this whole new kettle of fish.
"Exactly!"
"When I went through this before, I went back to my partner feeling nervous and unsure. Even right up until I came here i as jumping my poor boy like crazy on the weekends and there would be mornings where he would murmur 'that was really nice last night' and i would know we had made love but couldn't quite remember the details. But had to pretend like I knew how hot it was."
"Yes! My libido has always been through the roof and because Mike is a bit older maybe his is more calm… so I am wondering if they will be matched or if it will get boring. Because with me in charge and with me drinking again it has been INSANE and raunchy. And there was a lot of it!" We both squealed with laughter in that way that only women can do. "I think he would miss it! But I have no idea what it will be like. Im not sure Im going to be needing heaps of crazy sex when I am clean and sober and trying to get normal stuff done. But maybe he will be like 'oh, okay, this is more normal'. Or maybe he will miss it".
"Oh of course, the age thing. Yes, you will notice a difference I think! Is he good in bed? Does the age thing impact on things? I was under the assumption that older men, yes, their libido probably drops, and that would be hectic with you being at your peak, but they know what they're doing."
"Yes he certainly knows what he's doing which is really good, my ex husband was lazy and had no clue to start with, god knows how 3 kids popped out, I was probably so bored that me eggs were too relaxed to fight anything off."
Young and horrified nurse ratchet intervenes again. "Im going to ask you for the last time to change topics of conversation! Please consider the other patients here."
Denis continues with his stencil, looking down, silently. Some other chap painting toy soldiers says "It's fine with me!" An overweight erstwhile primary school teacher working on a sculpture of a rabbit glares at us, but she glared at me for getting feathers all over the place yesterday so I am not fussed. "I have no problem with it" adds a nondescript brunette helpfully. She is making 3 dimensional flowers out of paper to be stuck to cards, I presume."
We couldn't stop laughing for 30 seconds and it was nice because in those thirty seconds, besides being 'in trouble' the funny part was that we had both forgotten we were in a mental hospital and just felt like two normal ladies doing art class and having a chat. The kind you would usually have over a glass of wine. Not for the first or last time, I felt like everything was going to be ok.
