Why were you such a f*ckup? You didn't have to be. There was no need for it. You were pretty and smart and cool. When I met you I thought you were awesome. You were my friend in a little black dress. I tried to get you out so many times. You didn't realise the invitations were dates. The night I told you I was into you I saw you laugh. "That's hilarious. Are you? I thought we were good friends. I thought you were my guy bestie. Why didn't you say something earlier? Sure, we can give it a go."
Hours later, "I think you should sleep with me in case I die on this plane tonight."
"Yeah right. have a good trip" You kissed me on the forehead and shook your head as you shut the door.
I thought about you while I was away. I came back and we spent 6 months together. Maybe it was too fast or too intense. I told you I loved you within weeks. I came out of my emotional lighthouse to date you. And you were a total f*ck-up. You weren't good enough for me. I thought at the time.
Sometimes now I see you with this other man and I know he must be more tolerant than me. He looks at you and smiles. You throw him into a ditch and play fight him just outside our houses. He is stronger than you but he lets you think you have won.
You were a royal pain in the *ss. I used to come around, really late at night, to discuss whether I had made the right decision. That can't happen anymore.
