Its not so bad. This sitting in my office bullish*t. Helloooooo, please get funny soon. But it feels like an existential joke. I am waiting for someone to jump out and yell "Ha!" I tell my friend about a potential ethical dilemma i had that day while i thought i was on the edge of death. I am worried it will follow me. "None of it matters" he says with a hollow laugh, "as long as you bill enough."
"And if I don't?"
"Then none of the good stuff matters." He doesn't say it but he may has well have: You are a whore, you are worth something to us based on what we can make off your sick body and your sleepless nights, your isolated little world, the passion you put into your work in sublimation of rage.
"Yeah, ok. So youre saying I can be a horrible person and hurt people and if I bill enough that's cool."
"Yes. Look around"
It is both a good thing and a bad thing I guess, to someone like me with a dysfunctional personality who worked hard.
It is both a good thing and a bad thing I guess, to someone like me with a dysfunctional personality who worked hard.
"I want out of this." He smiles knowingly.
"On your death bed, do you think you will remember the nice decor and canapés?"
He is angry. Something has happened that day. I am late to meet my lover and clutching a bunch of crap I must read over the weekend. There is a privileged despondency between us. I don't know which way to look for the sunrise. I was born creative and now I locked up in a gilded cage.
"On your death bed, do you think you will remember the nice decor and canapés?"
He is angry. Something has happened that day. I am late to meet my lover and clutching a bunch of crap I must read over the weekend. There is a privileged despondency between us. I don't know which way to look for the sunrise. I was born creative and now I locked up in a gilded cage.
